To save you the time–for your next shocker, here’s some of my favorite Bridget Everett moments.We know Hollywood is a landscape of dreams broken, delayed, and often unseen. Whenever I experience a Chardonnay shocker, I end up watching videos of Everett on YouTube for some inspiration. What is a Chardonnay shocker you ask? Well, I’m sure you know the moment you wake up at 4am after a few too many glasses of sugary white wine and end up trolling the Internet for hours? Welcome to a Chardonnay shocker! Who hasn’t done that! Bridget’s got you babe with descriptions such as “Great for the mom on the run! Put it in your purse, take it to the park and get to dreaming!”Įverett also coined “Chardonnay shocker,” a term I find myself using with some frequency despite not drinking Chardonnay very often (I know, for shame!). At Rock Bottom, the drink menus included Everett’s own recommended bottles of Chardonnay. If her hardcore cabaret performances weren’t enough, Everett’s ringing endorsement of Chardonnay certainly cements her role model worthiness. The last note in every show is this really high note, and every time I get there I’m just like, This could be it. I just want to go until I drop and feel like I’m gonna die. I’ll sleep in, because I want to be able to do full-force, hardcore cabaret.
How does she do it? Well in a recent interview with Out Magazine, Bridget revealed her secret–not doing anything during the day.Īs Everett explained, “I don’t really do much during the day.
I know what you’re asking yourselves, faithful Filthy Dreams readers. At a preview of Everett’s newest show Rock Bottom, I–along with Sarah Jessica Parker who was seated nearby–watched Everett climb over seats while grinding crowd members, shower everyone with whipped cream and sing “We don’t give a fuck.” Well, Everett sure doesn’t and I don’t want to either! Did I mention her tits had popped out of her dress at this point? Motor-boating audience members, spitting wine, spraying whipped cream into people’s mouths and just slightly sexually assaulting the front rows, Everett imbues her performances with just the right amount of terror. Singing about everyday relatable topics from little nippie-titties to soon-to-be aborted babies to dicks making her ass look big all while sucking down Chardonnay and somehow (well, most of the time anyway) keeping her tiny clothes on, Everett is the drunken cabaret performer of our dreams. Instead she takes her voice and performance to another level by mixing her singing with the most sublime shitshow imaginable. Possessing a unique vocal talent with the strength of Janis Joplin, Everett could easily just make a career as a singer. As Everett began lunging at the audience, we were hooked. Sitting way too close, as we often do, Marion and I saw the light and it was oaky and buttery just like a good Chardonnay. Belting out a song with her incredible voice, she was a vision. Emerging in one of her trademark ominously tiny and bizarrely constructed outfits, Everett regaled the audience with some hysterically horrible Christmas sob story while swigging from her ever-present bottle. While we initially went for the showbiz and the original snow queen ( move over, Elsa) Moisty the Snowman, Everett burst into our lives in a shower of Chardonnay and power vocals. Marion and I first encountered Everett during Murray Hill’s Christmas show, A Very Murray Christmas. Whether performing in her own show Rock Bottom at Joe’s Pub, singing unconventional covers at Our Hit Parade, appearing on Inside Amy Schumer or crooning “Me And Bobby McGee” with Patti LuPone at Carnegie Hall, Everett is consistently hilarious, talented and alarming–a thrilling and sometimes terrifying combination.
I was just singing a family-friendly classic from one of our absolute Filthy Dreams favorites who undoubtedly earned her role model title: the triple threat who is mostly just threatening– Bridget Everett.įrankly, Bridget has been the subject of our hysterical fanaticism for awhile now and it’s time we recognize her Chardonnay-soaked heroic brilliance. She’s got them tube sock titties, put ‘em in the air! She’s got those beaver tail titties, put em in the air! She’s got those tic-tac titties….oh, what’s that? Why hello there, dearest Filthy Dreams readers.
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